I've never liked either of those, soggy cereal or cold food when the food is meant to be hot. I've always enjoyed cereal, I usually have at least three different flavors sitting atop the fridge and they are well thought out. Now that I've entered motherhood I eat when I can, what I can and sometimes I don't eat at all. I'd say that a baby is a great diet plan but I feel it when my body is lacking proper nutrients and it slows me down and makes me less efficient. There is so much about motherhood that was unexpected, for the better and for the harder. I say harder instead of worse because being a mother isn't horrible it's just challenging in ways I didn't expect. There's a lot about motherhood/being a parent that isn't addressed, you find out when you get there (and if people knew maybe there would be less children in the world :). I wouldn't give up my daughter for anything in the world but it's taken some getting used to and I'm still getting used to it. I explain it like this: in marriage, to have a good marriage, you sacrifice, you give of yourself to your spouse, you work on being selfless and sometimes you can get away with thinking about yourself. With a child all your wants and desires take a back seat. Grace doesn't care if I want or need just a little more sleep, when she's up and needs attention I have to get up (especially when Ryan's already gone to work at 4am!). When she's hungry I have to feed her even if I was just about to take a shower (I've almost mastered a really quick shower when it's just Grace and I home. However, I really love the times when Ryan is home with Grace and I can savor a nice long shower). When she cries and cries and cries and my head hurts from listening to her I still need to take care of her. I know how to soothe and comfort her but sometimes I wish someone else would do it at the snap of my fingers. I have my husband's help but he does work outside the home to provide so I can stay home with Grace and so I'm thankful for when he can help. I value those moments when he holds Grace and I have two free hands to take care of something or he makes a bottle or he'll change a diaper. Since she is my "job" I appreciate the breaks of freedom. In marriage you can learn to be more like Jesus if you let yourself and that continues so much more as a parent. I enjoy raising my child and look forward to raising more but I'm definitely human. I look forward to when this sets in as super normal, when I'm mostly over myself, my wants and my desires, when I can almost fully put my family before anything I want. I say mostly and almost fully because I'm human, I'm not perfect and alhtough I can continue to improve and grow I'll never be perfect but I look forward to the growth, not necessarily the growing and stretching but the outcome of it.
On a lighter note, I love my daughter's smiles and laughter, I love making her laugh. I love her "kisses." I love seeing her with her daddy, my husband who she loves and lights up and laughs for all the time. I love watching her grow and discover new things. I look forward to seeing the woman she'll become. I love being able to teach her what I know, teaching her about God, and life. I love reading to her, I love holding her, I love when she sleeps on me, I love that I know how to comfort her, I love the satisfying feeling that comes when I've calmed her down. I love all the things that make her her. I love knowing and serving her and I love that I get to have her and I get to have her with Ryan.
